The Light in My Life
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: In an effort to erase the heartache from her broken life, Jo tries Grace's PTSD device, and only succeeds in giving herself amnesia. With no memory of her current- or former- life in Eureka, Carter and the others decide that maybe the only way to get their Jo back, is to give her the one thing she'd tried living without... so they put Zane in her path.
1. Chapter 1

**The Light in My Life**

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena**

**Summary: In an effort to erase the heartache from her broken life, Jo tries Grace's PTSD device, and only succeeds in giving herself amnesia. With no memory of her current- or former- life in Eureka, Carter and the others decide that maybe the only way to get _their_ Jo back, is to give her the one thing she'd tried living without... so they put Zane in her path. I know, this had been done before, but I wanted to give it a shot. I've got an idea, and I want to run with it.**

She laid back, the silver node glinting in the light. She couldn't believe she'd asked Grace if she could try her device- she'd lied, saying that she wanted to finally deal with the trauma she'd suffered in Afghanistan; in reality, she wanted to finally deal with the Zane problem. Throwing his ring at him had only forced him to ask more questions than she was willing to give, and it hadn't helped her move on. If she dealt with it this way- using Grace's device- then she could finally move on. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the node to her temple, and turned it on. Then, she laid back on the hood of her sporty blue car, turning her eyes to the stars.

She swallowed, becoming lost in her thoughts. Eventually, she closed her eyes, becoming lost in memories of her childhood. Images of her father dancing with her mom in the living room, of her mom taking her to dance classes, of her brothers playing catch, or her grandmother welcoming the family during one of their visits... flashes of her mom's cancer diagnosis, of her mom growing weaker, of her last moments with her beloved children, of her funeral, of her dad packing away her mom's things, watching old home movies, of her life, moving from place to place.

She saw images of her military career, of her captivity in Afghanistan, of her return stateside, of her early years in Eureka, of her friendship with Carter, of her relationship with Zane...

She choked, sitting up, but refusing to open her eyes. She reached up, attempting to remove it. But Grace had said that once the device was active, she couldn't remove it, and only succeeded in shocking herself. She jumped, tumbling off the hood of her car and hitting the hard, packed dirt of the ground around Lookout Point. Once again, she reached up to remove it, and only succeeded in shocking herself worse than before. The sound of electricity crackling caused her to roll onto her side, and hold her head.

She cried out, struggling to take a breath. But soon, the crackling gave way to a high-pitched whistle, and she whimpered, her whimpering giving way to a scream of agonized pain. Her screams echoed in the forest laid out around her, but no one in Eureka heard. She was alone, surrounded by her memories and the pain in her broken heart. And a small, weakened part of her soul prayed for death, and looked for Death's kiss, waited for the comforting arms of God to take her away. And eventually, she became enveloped in the sweet arms of unconsciousness as it settled around her body.

And, it was here, hours later, that Carter found her- rushing from Cafe Diem, where their small group was supposed to meet for dinner- of which Jo never showed.

With only the light of the moon, beam of his flashlight and Andy's heat sensors, he searched the area; his flashlight landed on the sporty blue car, that- in their timeline- had once belonged to Fargo, but in this timeline, belonged to his Head of Security. "I... I don't see her... I..."

"Boss, over here!" Quickly, Carter rushed around the car, to see Jo, laying unconscious on the ground; Andy was quickly checking her vitals and running internal scans. "Her body temperature is exceedingly low; she is either on the verge of hypothermia or in the midst-"

"Andy, call Allison and tell her to ready a bed in the infirmary." Carter said, taking over for him. He pulled Jo into his arms, checking her over for any sign of trauma or struggle- of which he found none, but a small silver node on the side of her temple. "Come on, Jo! Wake up! Come on, Josefina Ballerina, don't give up on me!" Moments passed, before he climbed to his feet, Jo in his arms, and rushed to his Jeep. climbing into the passenger seat, Jo in his arms, he turned to Andy and ordered him to book it back to Eureka. "Come on, Jo, hang in there! Hang on for me!" With sirens blaring, they rushed back to the small Oregon town, Carter sending silent prayers up to Heaven that they hadn't lost Jo.

He didn't remember the ride through downtown, nor did he remember rushing through GD, his best friend unconscious in his arms. He didn't remember Allison or her interns taking Jo from him and rushing her into emergency. He just remembered pacing the hall, the various scientists casting curious glances as they moved past, and finally, the familar presences of his friends. And when Zane joined them, he didn't say anything, but clapped a hand on the young scientist's shoulder before resuming his pacing. Eventually, Allison came out, pulling her gloves off.

"It's a good thing you found her when you did, Jack. Any longer, and she would have succumbed to hypothermia. We... managed to bring her temperature back up with various treatments, and we're just bringing her out of the coma we induced a couple hours ago." She pulled something from her pocket. "I... found this on her temple." She held it out to Grace, who went quickly to the good doctor and picked it up.

"Is that-" Henry started. Grace nodded.

"It's my... Jo asked to use it so she could... come to terms with... what she went through in Afghan-" But she was interrupted by the scream coming from inside the infirmary. They rushed inside, Carter leading the charge. The sight that greeted him was one of a very pale, very frightened, Josefina Lupo.


	2. Chapter 2

******Rifiuto: Non Mirena**

Allison got to her first.

"Calm down! _Calm down, Jo_!"

Carter was the second to reach her. He reached out, laying a hand on her shoulder and staring into her wide, scared eyes. "Hey, hey, calm down. It's okay, Jo. All right? It'll be okay." She pulled away.

_"Get away from me! Who are you? How do you know me? Get away from me! Leave me alone!"_ She clutched at the blanket, struggling against the interns as they attempted to hold her down to check her vitals.

"Jo, I need you to calm down for me." Allison said, leaning over her. She glanced at Carter. "You should go, Carter. Please." He nodded, doing as told.

"_How do you know who I am? I've never met you!"_ Allison laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Jo, I'm your doctor. There... there was an accident... you were exposed to hypothermia... you'll be fine... I need you to calm down. Okay? Lay back and calm down for me, can you do that?" Eventually, the younger woman did as told, and gently Allison checked her over.

"I... I want my father." She choked out.

"I will _personally_ get in touch with your father and let him know what happened, Jo. I promise." Then, she grabbed the curtain and pulled it around the bed, sectioning the small area off, and leaving her friends out of the chaos. Minutes ticked by that stretched into hours; they could hear soft voices, and when Allison finally joined them, Carter was the first to jump.

"What happened, Ali?" She glanced back at the curtained room. Then, she gestured for them to follow, and once the door to her small office closed behind them, she said,

"She... she answered the residual questions easily- where were you born, who are your brothers and your parents, where did you grow up, when were you born- but... but when it came to... to the other questions..."

"Allison? What is it?" Henry asked, reaching out to lay a hand on her arm. She took it, squeezing, and it seemed to give her the strength to continue.

"When I asked her how old she was, and who was the president, and what her job was... she... she said..." The doctor choked, tears gathering in her hazel eyes. "She said that she was... _sixteen_... and that... that she was a..._ sophomore_ at _West Point Military Academy_..." Tears slid down her cheeks, and reached up a shaky hand to brush them away. Carter felt the blood rush from his head down to his toes.

"You... you can't..." He shook his head, rushing from the office and back to the curtained area, ignoring Allison's cries. He pushed back the curtain; Jo pushed herself back against the pillows, clutching the blanket to her chest. He stopped, noticing how frightened she appeared; a fawn, seperated from her mother, lost in the wild, and facing down a hunter. Slowly, he held up his hands, "I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." Her dark eyes flicked to the gun at his belt, and he slowly removed the belt, setting it on the floor at his feet. "See? I... I won't hurt you, Jo. I'm just here to help."

"How do you know me? I don't know you. Do you know my father? Or my brothers?" He shook his head.

"No. I don't know them. But... but I know you." He took a step towards her. "Jo, you had an accident, and you temporarily lost your memory. Okay?" She pushed herself further into the pillow. The vulnerability he saw in her eyes surprised him; Jo, who was so strong, who had lived through war... Jo, who'd spent her time as Eureka's deputy and lived through more disasters than he had... Jo, who'd... lost the man she loved, and was forced to live without him in this new timeline...

He turned back, to see the others watching with worry in their eyes. Slowly, he went to the bed. "We're gonna help you get it back. Okay? We're gonna help you remember everything." Her dark eyes shifted towards Allison.

"Do you know him?" She asked, fear in her voice. Allison glanced at Carter, before nodding and going to Jo.

"Yes. He's... a friend. And... he's the sheriff of Eureka."

"Wh... what's... Eureka?" She asked, looking up at Allison.

"Eureka is the town you're in, Jo."

"Why am I here? I... I'm supposed to be at The Point... if my father finds out that I'm in Oregon and not... Virginia... he'll have my head..." She choked out. Quickly, Allison sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out and taking her hands.

"Shh. Calm down, Jo. It's okay. Your dad knows you're here. He gave us permission to bring you here." Her brow furrowed.

"But- I thought... I thought he-"

"I got in touch with him, and he said, that instead of sending you to Mayo or down to the Shriners, you should stay here. That you'll be in the best care here. He said it was all right." The young woman seemed to digest this, before nodding.

"Okay." Gently, Allison reached up, brushing a strand of black hair off Jo's forehead. The young Head of Security bit her lip, before asking, "Am... am I going to be okay?" Allison sighed.

"Jo, you have amnesia. You're essentially a blank slate-"

"So... I won't remember anything? At all?" She interrupted. Allison shook her head.

"You don't remember anything that's currently happened to you- say, in the last ten years or so." Jo snorted, rolling her eyes.

"I hate to break it to you, Dr. Blake, but... ten years ago, I was_ six_. And I remember plenty."

"That's not what I meant, Jo." She took a deep breath, turning to look at the others in their small group.

_Here goes nothing. Just do it before you lose your nerve._

"Well?" Jo asked. Allison let out a breath, before turning her back on their friends and saying,

"Jo, what year is it?" The girl started, surprised.

"Nineteen-ninety-five. I told you this already, Dr. Blake. Why are you asking?" Allison didn't have to look over her shoulder, to see her friends surprised eyes, to hear her friends gasp, to know the pain her answer caused.

"No, Jo. It's two-thousand-eleven. What you remember, and what you're missing are two entirely different things. You're missing sixteen years of your life."

"Will I... will I get them back?" She asked, horror in her eyes. Allison squeezed her hand.

"You should, but it'll take time. And until you're better, you'll stay here. Once you're strong enough, then I'll discharge you. I want you to stay here so I can run a few more tests, make sure there wasn't anymore damage done. Okay?" The girl nodded. "I'm gonna give you a sedative so you sleep, okay?"

Once she'd administered the sedative, she slipped away from the bed and pulled the curtain closed behind her. Her small group of friends stood, waiting for her. She sighed. "How do we deal with this, Ali?" Carter asked. Allison shrugged.

"I don't know. I do know, that if we tell her about her life now, if we give her too much information, and not let it process, then it could upset her vitals. She's had a serious shock to her system- and couple that with the hypothermia she survived- and if we give her too much, it could bring disasterous results. This," Allison waved absentmindedly to the bed behind the curtains. "Is basically a mental lobotomy. Sixteen years of her life has been erased- including the time travel. She knows nothing about going back to nineteen-forty-seven, nothing about coming to this new timeline, nothing about... about Eureka."

Zane glanced around. Since he'd been brought into the group- thanks to Jo throwing his grandmother's ring at him- he'd been a lot more... cooperative, but only because of the woman now sound asleep in the bed behind the curtain. Only now, that woman had the mind and memories of a sixteen-year-old girl. She had no knowledge of what she and Zane's... alternate self had been in her timeline, nor her job as first deputy and now as Head of GD Security. She had no idea as to the heartache this new time had caused her, nor did she seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

"So what do we do about it? I... I mean, where do we... take her? We can't take her back to her home in Jersey... she won't recognize her dad, it could send her into a relapse-" Carter sighed, turning to the young scientist.

"We will-"

"Zane's right, Jack. If we take her back to Jersey, who knows what the reprecussions could be? Or the damage they'll do? It's best if we keep her here in Eureka. At least until she regains her memories."

"But regaining those memories could take years- or, God forbid- never be regained at all. It's a gamble we can't risk." Henry said. Grace looked up. Guilt was written on every part of her face. Her device had caused this, afer all.

"We take it one day at a time." She whispered. "Jo's a war vet, right? She regained her life back, but it took time. She came here... ten years ago, wounded, nearly disfigured... and she survived, all because she took it one day a time, a step at a time, right? So we do that now. We watch over her, and protect her, and love her, like we've always done. She can have her happiness, and we... keep the D.O.D. from sanctioning her, if it ever comes to that."

Carter swallowed, taking a deep breath. "I don't like this. This is too dangerous, we're playing with fire, and Jo's the kindling-"

"And we will do everything to keep her lit and alive, Carter." Allison said, cutting him off, as she pulled the curtain back. "She depends on us." She looked around at them each in turn, her gaze ending on Zane. "All of us. Now you just have to decide whether you want to help build her up, or tear her down."


End file.
